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Friday, December 18, 2009

Time to re-focus

There is so much on my mind lately.  I feel acutely aware of the time that is slipping away.  It's like I'm standing back and looking at my life from a distance.  I analyze each day, each hour, looking for the meaning and looking for hints of what others might see when they look at me.  What do they think when they see my life?  I guess I am just so conscious right now of how fleeting this life is.  I don't want it to watch it fly by and look back with regrets.  I want to live each hour to its' fullest.

My perception of time has changed.  I can clearly remember when I was a child...it took forever for Christmas to come.  Now, I blink and it's here again.  A day seems like no time at all now.  I look at my babies' faces and I marvel that they have grown so much.  Wow.  Has it really been that long?  It feels like only days, not years have passed since I became a mom for the first time.

I'm overwhelmed.  Overwhelmed by God's love.  Overwhelmed by this blessed life I live.  I want to be aware of this every moment of every day.  I get caught up in the cleaning, feeding, and training my children.  Don't get me wrong, these are not bad things, but they can become almost automatic routine and in that lose some of the meaning that should be there.  I get caught up in housework and trying to be the perfect wife and mom.  I forget that I've lost another moment to vain thinking and useless worry.  I want to treasure each moment.  I want to use each moment for God's glory.

Who can I be serving?  Who needs to be ministered to today?  Where does God want me today?  Whose path has He planned for me to cross?  What things should I be teaching my children today?  I know those seem like obvious questions that we think of all the time, but what if tomorrow was my last day?  What would I do?  What would I not do? 

I know that I cannot imagine living life without the amazing presence of my awesome God.  He has been there at every turn.  He's there even when I don't see Him.  I don't want anyone to miss the incomparable blessing of experiencing Jesus the way that I have.  I long for all to experience His love.

What am I doing to glorify God in this moment?  What are you doing to glorify God in this moment?


SnoWhite said...

thanks for the encouragement today!

to be aware... and present in the moments we have in life -- truly something to be grateful to God for, and in turn to glorify Him in those moments.

Randall and Rachel Beita said...

Such a great post sis. You are so right that often it becomes so everyday. I want my every moment to count.

Amy said...

Beautifully said Sarah!