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Saturday, November 8, 2008

On trusting and letting go

It’s not what I expected, but I am now on bed rest. At 31 weeks pregnant with twins, it is not really unusual, but at the same time is really hard since I have been feeling so well and all has been healthy and normal. This past week has been so hard, as all of a sudden, life as I know it was pulled out from under me and I landed lying down on the couch, watching as it passed by. All of a sudden my days changed from house and baby keeping, to merely observing as these things took place around me without my help. I am thankful that God has blessed us to be near family during this time. I can only imagine how hard it would be if we didn’t have them here to help.

I have felt helpless, restless, and useless numerous times this week. God must be trying to teach me something about letting go, because that is what I am being forced to do. It’s hard to not have control in your own home, to not keep up with the laundry and take care of the baby yourself. Usually so organized, I now have no idea where many things are, and many things are being done so much differently than I would do them. That isn’t bad, just hard to get used to. It’s humbling, and it’s teaching me to be more patient.

When I can’t control what’s going on around me, it’s comforting to remember that God is sovereign and He is in control. He is all knowing and all powerful. So I will continue to place my trust in Him. And I will continue to pray for strong, healthy babies in His timing.

5 comments:

Kimberly said...

We will definitely keep you in our prayers. Hang in there. Isn't wonderful that God always provides?! He knows your heart Sarah. I pray that He will minister to your every need during this time.

Randall and Rachel Beita said...

I know it is hard sweet sis. It is just for a time. I am praying for you everyday.

Delighted Mom said...

I know it's hard. Those last few weeks for me with my twins were so very hard. But it's all worth it in the end! Giving up that control is the hardest part. It drove me crazy to have everyone else do everything for me. But enjoy it while you can...you are about to be busy busy! :)

Anonymous said...

Sarah,

God always uses the things in our lives to make us more like Him and this is His heart toward you right now in this - to make you more like Him. I love you so very much and you are ever in my heart, and thoughts and prayers.

I cried for a while at bedtime and Robby held me, it is so hard for me to understand why I have to be so far away when I want so much to be there with you, taking care of you. But God is shaping us both and He is Sovereign. May He minister to you and shape you into His image and fill you with joy and delight all your days.

Love you sis! :)

Shannon Marie

Sarah said...

Thanks ladies for your sweet, encouraging words!